Safe Place

i'm sitting in starbucks, pouring through max lucado's "gentle thunder" while waiting for the other members of my learning cluster on new testament greek to arrive. at the table nearest me, two men in their early thirties are discussing the health of their mega-church's bible studies. when one of my friends arrives, he comments that two guys across the room are discussing their house church.

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another starbucks, another day, another meeting. i see my friend's things on a comfy chair: a leather jacket, a note pad, and a book labeled "understanding god." so i sit mine down next to his. but when i return with my mocha, it's a total stranger reading the book and we end up talking god and church for the next half hour.

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i like the encouragement that comes from seeing others pursue christ in the world. i like knowing that i can take him where ever i am openly. i like being reminded that he's not a hush-hush, quiet voices subject.



i don't want to retreat to safe, cloistered bubbles apart from the world, prelabeled "christian," where unbelievers fear to tread. i want them to over hear me talking about god - not because i'm so wise or well-spoken, but because it opens conversation. i want them to hear me admitting my struggles and flaws, learning by osmosis that we are not perfect and don't expect them to be either - and that old white republican men haven't cornered the market on god.



i need to be always aware that having god's spirit in me means i am always his hands and his feet, even when i don't want to be. a (relative) stranger, a non-christian, asked me for a ride the other day, and i said i couldn't because i didn't have enough gas. but the truth was that they were pushing me out of my comfort zone, and what really bruised my heart was realizing that i was showing them a counterfeit of god's love - a love that would only step out so far. i need the accountability of outside eyes watching me for signs of his love.



maybe i'm alone in liking it this way. maybe there's a reason to have christian places to go, read and fellowship. but i'm not sure how i feel about that anymore.