Moment By Moment Till Forever Passes By

I wonder if God ever asked anyone to commit to Him forever? I wonder if I'm even capable of it. Most of us can't commit for a single day. And even if I commit in all sincerety to live the next week for God and God alone, what is the vaule of that promise? What is the value of intentions? Easily made, easily broken, sometimes impossible to keep. The truth is, I have trouble giving Him this moment, never mind promising to return to Him future moments that He hasn't even given me yet.



But I think about it a lot. What if God wants me to stay single? Could I do it? What if He wants me to continue this nomadic existence for the rest of my life? Would He really make me do that? What if I'm supposed to lose my job tomorrow? Sure it maybe for the best ultimately, but I like having money to go out with my friends. And on and on and on.



It's called borrowing trouble. I expect myself to be able, right now, to accept all of the worst possible things that could happen - things that probably never will happen and couldn't possibly all happen - because that's want God says is best. I'm mentally preparing myself for a lifetime of the same series of disasters I've experienced over the past few years. No, for the rest of my life to be a series of sacrifices in the name of God.



Maybe that's what it'll be like. Maybe it won't. It scares me, no question, but at some point (and i think this is that point) I have to recognize that all the worrying I've done in the past has been no help in dealing with the present. The only thing that helps me in the present is God. Which means that worrying today is useless, because only God will be able to help me tomorrow.



I can't decide to follow Him tomorrow. I can only ask myself if I'm truly following Him today.