Stealth Dating

Transparency:

the willingness to live one's life as an open book.

Stealth Dating:

the refusal to be transparent about one's romantic entanglements.



I know, you really, really like this guy. You think it could be something special. And you certainly don't want to ruin it by getting the whole community involved. And what if you make a mistake, cross a line prematurely, fail or commit some major sin - you're supposed to be setting an example!



Sorry, but no. You are setting an example - with your whole life, not just the easy or obvious parts. In moments your not even aware of, with people you may only speak with a handful of times, you are showing them what christianity looks like in this culture. You're showing them how a christian woman handles her job, her friends, her family and her education. You're setting a bar in speech, behavior, dress and attitude.



And by building a hedge around this aspect of your life you are living a lie. You're choosing to show only a part of the picture.



Single women all feel lonely at one time or another - but not you. You are the image of Contented Singleness - an image based on a lie that presents an impossible standard. You never seem to be lonely, so why should they?



Dating women are wrestling with issues that pop up in all relationships. How much time should we spend together? How far can we go physically? How do we behave in groups? How do we develope a mutual spiritual life? How are you helping them, exactly?



You gave God your whole life, remember? Not just the aspects you were comfortable displaying. If you're in this to find your comfort zone and set up shop, you picked the wrong religion. Every moment of every day of your life is an example to some one. Deal with it.