safe harbor

on the second floor of my office building, my boss's father keeps his business. he is one of the kindest, friendliest, most encouaging people i've ever met. if i could offer half the witness he does with his treatment of others, i'd consider myself wholly blessed.



so when business took me up there this afternoon, i eagerly popped my head into his office and we ended up talking for about 20 minutes. he asked about my family, my upbringing, my brother, and my church. it was a thoroughly enjoyable conversation in a way that few are. so when he asked me how i was finding the company, i was delighted to tell him how much i'm loving the enviroment, how amazing his sons are, all this joy that's bubbling out of me as we're talking. talking with him makes me joyful - i wish i had that gift!



so in my clumsy and indirect fashion, i told him how, as i'd driven home after my first day i was struck by the fact that i hadn't heard anyone speak badly of anyone else - not once. and he kind of tilted his head to the side and said "that's funny - that's been coming up in our bible studies lately, how we're not to harbor enmity against others, because christ killed it on the cross."



the wheels started turning in my head as i considered that - that hatred isn't the opposite of grace, nor anger, nor resentment nor bitterness. those are all facets of enmity - positive, active, hatred or ill will. it's not just failing to choose forgiveness, it's choosing unforgiveness.



grace chooses love above all else, puts the needs of others before the self, resulting in unity and deeper relationship. enmity chooses pride above all else, places the demands of the self first, and creates discord and seperation.



so if we are saved by grace, if christ's work was to provide grace for us, if we are to walk in his footsteps and live as he lived, then mustn't we put away every ill thought, every buried resentment, every willful remembrance of hurt? because in remembering these things we not only fail to follow him, we work against him.

where credit is due

i'm feeling disconnected lately, it's been a while since i had anything resembling daily devotional time, i'm smoking again and i keep feeling like God is getting farther and farther away. all day long i've been stressed like something horrible is happening or just happened or about to happen.



but i remember this - we praise Him in the storm, and when we fall begin again at our beginnings. so:



i'm thankful for my roommate's father rebuilding his PC so that i could still get my work done when i couldn't do it on my Mac.



i'm thankful to my mother for giving me a laptop that i can use from here on out.



i'm thankful for my Mac, that is perfect for me if not for business.



i'm thankful for my truck, and that it's so wonderfully and comfortably beaten up.



i'm thankful that my next move is already going smoothly and i don't feel down to the wire stressing about where i'm going to live.



i'm thankful for my job and the amazing Christ-like examples my coworkers provide in their grace, acceptance and encouragement



i'm thankful that said job pays well.



i'm thankful that my relationship with my mother has been so transformed.



i'm thankful for my community that can admonish and encourage with equal gentleness and love.



i'm thankful that God loves me enough to make me worthy of His love, even when i struggle against Him.



i'm thankful for mary's involvement and servant's heart, for travis's transparency, for aaron's continuing example of love lived out, for dave c's compassion, for jeff's truthfulness in difficult places, for shannon's ability to build relationships between the women in her community, for dave and lorrie's enthusiasm and generosity, and for andie's constant hugs.